Member Since: 28 Feb 2009
Location: Gloucestershire
Posts: 277
2 Cows (sorry about the formatting)
*SOCIALISM*You have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbour.
*COMMUNISM*You have 2 cows.The State takes both and gives you some milk.
*FASCISM*You have 2 cows.The State takes both and sells you some milk.
*NAZISM*You have 2 cows.The State takes both and shoots you.
*BUREAUCRATISM*You have 2 cows.The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milkaway.
*TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM*You have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.You sell them and retire on the income.
*SURREALISM*You have two giraffes.The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
*AN AMERICAN CORPORATION*You have two cows.You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
*ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM* You have two cows.You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of creditopened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap withan associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a taxexemption for five cows.The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a CaymanIsland Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rightsto all seven cows back to your listed company.The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you withnine cows.No balance sheet provided with the release.The public then buys your bull.
*A FRENCH CORPORATION*You have two cows.You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
*A JAPANESE CORPORATION*You have two cows.You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and producetwenty times the milk.You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market itworldwide.
* GERMAN CORPORATION*You have two cows.You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milkthemselves.
*AN ITALIAN CORPORATION*You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.You decide to have lunch.
*A RUSSIAN CORPORATION*You have two cows.You count them and learn you have five cows.You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
*A SWISS CORPORATION*You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.You charge the owners for storing them.
*A CHINESE CORPORATION*You have two cows.You have 300 people milking them.You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
*AN INDIAN CORPORATION*You have two cows.You worship them.
*A BRITISH CORPORATION*You have two cows.Both are mad.
*AN IRAQI CORPORATION*Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.You tell them that you have none.No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
*AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION*You have two cows.Business seems pretty good.You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
6th Mar 2009 11:30 pm
Popelka
Member Since: 31 May 2008
Location: Praha (Prague)
Posts: 2430
Re: 2 Cows (sorry about the formatting)
Blobby wrote:
*ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM* You have two cows.You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of creditopened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap withan associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a taxexemption for five cows.The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a CaymanIsland Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rightsto all seven cows back to your listed company.The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you withnine cows.No balance sheet provided with the release.The public then buys your bull.
7th Mar 2009 5:15 am
Willy Eckerslike
Member Since: 12 Jan 2009
Location: N Yorks
Posts: 1612
Club Pie n Pea
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7th Mar 2009 11:21 am
EuroCard
Member Since: 11 Mar 2009
Location: The Hague
Posts: 22
One cow to another:
what do you think of all this Mad Cow business
Second cow:
What do I care, I'm a helicopter!Took delivery 20 March, first 1000km completed, I love this vehicle!
21st Mar 2009 2:19 pm
ronp
Member Since: 29 Nov 2006
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 15214
Two cows in a field.
1st Cow: "Mmmoooooooo"!
2nd Cow: "B*stard! I was going to say that"!!!I was a normal heterosexual chap, but in these new woke awakenings I now identify as a Wardrobe.
21st Mar 2009 3:39 pm
BORDER ROVER
Member Since: 03 Dec 2007
Location: Cumbria
Posts: 1105
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