Brown somehow manages to make a total :censored: of MPs' expenses
www.thedailymash.co.uk wrote:
PRIME minister Gordon Brown surprised Westminster last night by somehow managing to make the scandal over MPs expenses even worse than it already was.
Mr Brown has proposed abolishing the controversial £24,000 a year second home allowance and replacing it with a £24,000 a year dragging-your- fat- -into-work allowance.
Under the old scheme MPs would have to submit receipts to the Commons authorities, thereby allowing the public to at least speculate on the titles and content of the pornography.
Under the new scheme MPs will get £150 a day just for being where they are supposed to be, but crucially will not have to submit receipts thereby allowing them to use taxpayers' money to watch as many Hungarian donkey films as they want.
Julia Cook, professor of politics at Reading University, said: "I've been up all night racking my brains and I cannot, for the life of me, work out how he managed to this up.
"The key task here was to stop giving MPs lots and lots of free money, or at least make sure that when they got the free money they didn't use it to take the utter piss.
"But what he has actually done is guarantee them roughly the same amount of free money while at the same time - and this is the bit that I love - making it even easier for them to take the piss."
She added: "For a man who has set new benchmarks in being an unmitigated f g catastrophe, this could be the crowning moment of his career."
A Downing Street spokesman said: "I don't suppose you've got any jobs going? Please help me."
I know it's not considered "kind" to say no these days, but no. Just no, ok? And if it's not ok, still no.
22nd Apr 2009 8:50 am
stapldm
Member Since: 11 Sep 2006
Location: Swine Town
Posts: 2330
Julia Cook wrote:
...For a man who has set new benchmarks in being an unmitigated fg catastrophe...
Dr. Ian Malcolm:
"Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."
Transgenic tomato anyone?
This would all be fg hilarious if it wasn't spot on the mark. The older I get, the more I realise that people confuse wrinkles for wisdom
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22nd Apr 2009 10:46 am
SJR
Member Since: 09 Aug 2006
Location: East Manchester
Posts: 4030
As if £60k a year for shouting in a large room such educated statements as 'here, here', 'ha ha ha' or 'aaaaagh' is not well paid enough anyway.
It is just a gravy train, and unfortunately those that are on it are more concerned with keeping their benefits & perks on the tracks than sorting out the economy and country that they have completely b gerred up!
Roll on TLO for prime minister then everyone would get what they wanted next day I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
Buzz Aldrin (1930 -
22nd Apr 2009 10:55 am
UNG
Member Since: 20 Jun 2008
Location: Lancs
Posts: 753
As Blair was desperate trying to have something to be remembered for he should have asked Brown for advice as it has only taken him a couple of years to achieve his
Brown's legacy will be as a bumbling politician who has set new benchmarks in boom and bust, slease and denial ( it's always somebody else's fault )"Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag'em down to your level. It's cheaper".
22nd Apr 2009 10:58 am
AndrewW
Member Since: 06 Aug 2007
Location: Saddleworth
Posts: 2302
Everything you wanted, next day, for less than you expected to pay, with a smile.....
I don't know if there is one word for that (D3Heaven?) but it would do well as the definition of the opposite of "New Labour" 2006 D3 finally swapped for a 2016 D4 Graphite in Graphite grey. No mods
22nd Apr 2009 11:02 am
nobbyclark
Member Since: 03 May 2005
Location: Perth, Scotland
Posts: 1268
That is hilarious (the quote, not the fact that MPs' noses are still buried in the expenses trough). My tuppence-ha'penny on this subject is on my blog today.No longer a D3 owner but still subscribed to multiple threads!
22nd Apr 2009 2:44 pm
DG Site Moderator
Member Since: 12 Dec 2005
Location: The Gaff
Posts: 50949
Some people forget that they are all at it.....and have been since parliament began
I can't wait for the Conservative expenses info to be released next week
....and they'll have to give up their second jobs ...... and they can't employ their families to lick the envelopes
Just how will they keep the country house estates running 21 year LR veteran > D2 GS 2003 > D3 S 2006 > D3 HSE 2009 > D4 HSE 2013 > D4 HSE 2015 > D5 HSE 2018 > DS HSE R-Dynamic P300e 2021
22nd Apr 2009 3:43 pm
jkp
Member Since: 17 Sep 2005
Location: Living among Bawbags
Posts: 4528
DG wrote:
...... and they can't employ their families to lick the envelopes
Not envelope lickers, more like window lickers
22nd Apr 2009 3:50 pm
DG Site Moderator
Member Since: 12 Dec 2005
Location: The Gaff
Posts: 50949
Conservatives MPs see parliamentary expenses as a perk of doing a (good?) job.
Labour MPs see parliamentary expenses as a goal and a reason to get the job in the first place. The fact that they don't know how to do the job is simply a sad indictment of the great unwashed voting public who ultimately see a Labour government as a free lunch and hand-out culture anyway.
I'd still prefer to be governed by someone who openly admits to their perks in a flippant Etonian manner, than one who tries to spin a yarn that they are 'working class' (with 6 figure earnings) and aren't getting any perks at all........ The older I get, the more I realise that people confuse wrinkles for wisdom
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22nd Apr 2009 3:59 pm
DG Site Moderator
Member Since: 12 Dec 2005
Location: The Gaff
Posts: 50949
sacimiddx wrote:
well we voted for him
no wait a minute we didn't !
In fact no one did
democracy my ar$e
We didn't vote in John Major either 21 year LR veteran > D2 GS 2003 > D3 S 2006 > D3 HSE 2009 > D4 HSE 2013 > D4 HSE 2015 > D5 HSE 2018 > DS HSE R-Dynamic P300e 2021
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-into-work allowance.
.
...... and they can't employ their families to lick the envelopes 
