Member Since: 17 Sep 2005
Location: Living among Bawbags
Posts: 4528
General Knowledge
The scene is Bishoploch Primary School , Glasgow.Teacher: 'Good morning children, today is Thursday, so we're going to have a general knowledge quiz.
The pupil who gets the answer right can have Friday and Monday off and not come back to school until Tuesday.'
Wee Murray thinks, 'Ya beauty! I'm pure dead brilliant at general knowledge, so I am. This is goannae be a doddle!'
Teacher: ' Right class, who can tell me who said. ' Don't ask what our country can do for you, but what you can do for your country?'
Wee Murray shoots up his hand, waving furiously in the air.
Teacher looking round picks Farqhuar Fauntleroy at the front.
'Yes, Farqhuar?' Farqhuar (in a very English accent): ' Yes miss, the answer is J F Kennedy - inauguration speech 1960.'
Teacher: 'Very good Farqhuar. You may stay off Friday and Monday and we will see you back in class on Tuesday.'
The next Thursday comes around, and Wee Murray is even more determined.
Teacher: 'Who said 'We will fight them on the beaches, we will fight them in the air, we will fight them at sea. But we will never surrender?' Wee Murray 's hand shoots up, arm stiff as a board, shouting 'I know, I know. Pick me Miss, pick me Miss'.
Teacher looking round and picks Tarquin Smythe, sitting at the front: 'Yes Tarquin.'
Tarquin (in a very, very po sh English accent): 'Yes miss, the answer is Winston Churchill, 1941 Battle of Britain speech.'
Teacher: 'Very good Tarquin, you may stay off Friday and Monday and come back to class on Tuesday.'
The following Thursday comes around and Wee Murray is hyper; he's been studying encyclopaedias all week and he's ready for anything that comes.
He's coiled in his chair, dribbling in anticipation.
Teacher: 'Who said 'One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind?'
Wee Murray 's arm shoots straight in the air, he's standing on his seat, jumping up and down screaming 'Pick me miss. Pick me miss. I know, I know. Me Miss, me miss, meeeeee'.
Teacher looking round the class picks Rupert, sitting at the front.
'Yes, Rupert?' Rupert (in a frightfully, frightfully, ever so plummy English accent):
'Miss, that was Neil Armstrong, 1969, the first moon landing.'
Teacher: 'Very good Rupert. You may stay off Friday and Monday and come back into class on Tuesday.'
Wee Murray loses the plot altogether, tips his desk and throws his
chair at the wall. He starts screaming " Where the f&@k did all these English B@st@rds come from?"
The teacher spins back round from the blackboard and shouts "Who said that!?"
Wee Murray grabs his coat and bag and heads for the door, "Robert the Bruce, Bannockburn, 1314 - See ya on Tuesday Miss!!"
3rd Sep 2009 9:18 pm
DSL Keeper of the wheelie bin
Member Since: 11 May 2006
Location: Off again! :-)
Posts: 72787
3rd Sep 2009 9:21 pm
Shrinky
Member Since: 05 Jul 2007
Location: Cotswolds
Posts: 2515
Member Since: 27 Apr 2009
Location: at sea
Posts: 1209
Brilliant joke, C. U. Next Tuesday! JKP
3rd Sep 2009 10:12 pm
Russell
Member Since: 24 Aug 2007
Location: Kent
Posts: 10564
that was goodMY17 D5 1st Edition Namib Orange
MY15 D4 HSE Kaikoura Stone
MY12 D4 HSE Nara Bronze Sold and gone
MY11 D4 HSE Stornaway Grey Sold and gone
D3 S spec Silver Sold and gone
Tow bar, full length roof bars, side steps, tow bar storage unit, surround camers.
D4 camera club
3rd Sep 2009 10:26 pm
jm105845
Member Since: 21 Aug 2007
Location: dublin
Posts: 271
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
