Member Since: 29 Sep 2006
Location: MIDLANDS
Posts: 8051
The gorilla at the local zoo dies......
........of old age just before the zoo opens for the day. It is the only gorilla at the zoo as they don't have much money and make little profit.
Problem is the gorilla is their most popular attraction by far and without him they are likely to lose customers, and they cannot afford to stay open without him as an attraction.
So the zoo owner has an idea and asks one of his workers to wear a gorilla suit they have and if they agree they will get an extra £100 a day if they pretend to be the gorilla and entertain visitors until the zoo can afford to get another one. The employee agrees, dresses up and he heads into the enclosure to start entertaining the visitors and is an immediate hit with them.
Very quickly, the new 'gorilla' again becomes the most popular animal at the zoo. Crowds are increasing and, as word gets out, people are travelling from all over the country to see the 'human-like' gorilla.
After a couple of months, the interest has started to tail off and visitor numbers are in decline again.
So, to get peoples' attention, he decides to climb over his enclosure and hang from the cage roofing above the lions den next to his enclosure. A large crowd of people starts to gather watching the spectacle open-mouthed in awe.
Suddenly the man loses his grip and falls to the floor of the lion's den. The man starts screaming and shouting to be rescued.
Out of nowhere, like a flash, a lion leaps from some rocks, jumps onto him from behind and whispers in his ear.......
"Shut the up right now or you're going to get us both fired"
13th Apr 2018 1:09 pm
DSL Keeper of the wheelie bin
Member Since: 11 May 2006
Location: Off again! :-)
Posts: 72768
13th Apr 2018 1:41 pm
Grianaig
Member Since: 08 Jul 2014
Location: Tyne and Wear
Posts: 1286
2014 MY Discovery XS Indus Silver. Sadly gone. Second last LR of forty eight years continuous ownership.
13th Apr 2018 1:51 pm
Red Merle
Member Since: 30 Aug 2014
Location: Liskeard
Posts: 7438
2011 - 2015: 3 x FL2
2015 - 2017: 2 x D4
2017 to date: FFRR SDV8
2023 to date: FL2 as a second car
2021 to date: Hinckley built ‘14 Triumph Trophy 1200
2022 to date: Hinckley built ‘14 Triumph Trophy 1200 & sidecar!
(One of only two known to exist in the world!)
13th Apr 2018 2:10 pm
Oswiperus D3 Decade
Member Since: 02 Apr 2010
Location: Chelmsford, Essex
Posts: 1590
Stu
2016 D4 Landmark current
2022 Defender D300 SE Gone
D4 2014 XS Commercial - Gone
D4 2016 hse lux montalcino red - Gone
D3 2005 se java black - current
D3 2005 base manual - gone
D2 1999 TD5 E white - current
13th Apr 2018 3:11 pm
Ceekay
Member Since: 17 May 2009
Location: Bury
Posts: 2057
D4 HSE Lux MY16 Club Waitomo
D3 HSE MY06 missing her still…
13th Apr 2018 5:30 pm
Hairy Dan
Member Since: 19 Jan 2011
Location: Co. Durham
Posts: 12319
Cheers Ian
--------------------
Club N.E.R.D.S
Kielder 4x4 Safari
Discoless
13th Apr 2018 6:14 pm
DSL Keeper of the wheelie bin
Member Since: 11 May 2006
Location: Off again! :-)
Posts: 72768
Gets a from SWMBO.
13th Apr 2018 6:18 pm
Timothy1
Member Since: 06 Dec 2016
Location: Tanzania
Posts: 42
Euro Parts Arusha
Tanzania
13th Apr 2018 6:20 pm
kajtzu
Member Since: 11 Aug 2017
Location: Helsinki
Posts: 6562
13th Apr 2018 6:35 pm
Grunders
Member Since: 30 Apr 2011
Location: Manchester
Posts: 2302
If it ain't broke... Take it apart anyway, how else you gonna find out how it works
13th Apr 2018 7:36 pm
KTM Gordo
Member Since: 18 Jul 2017
Location: St Neots
Posts: 109
A zookeeper starts work at his new job on a Friday to break him into things before a fresh week. For his first duty he is sent to clear out the aviary.
He is happily sweeping away when suddenly he hears a "crunch". To his dismay he looks down to find he has accidentally trodden on & killed a rare finch. Not wanting to get in trouble he panics, scoops up the bird & throws it in the lion enclosure, the hungry lion gobbling it up. He returns to his supervisor, and for his next duty gets send to feed the chimps in the chimp house. He starts to play with the chimps throwing them fruit, letting them swing off his broom. In his exuberance however, he manages to knock a chimp off balance that falls awkwardly from a tree & breaks his neck. "Oh no" he thinks .. "I've killed 2 animals on my first day .. I'm bound to get sacked".
So again, while nobody is looking he picks up the chimp & throws him in the lion's enclosure where the lion gobbles him up. Sheepishly he returns to his supervisor, who unknowingly is pleased with his work. For his final task of the day the supervisor sends him to the beehives. The zoo keeps its own bees to sell honey in the shop. His task is to collect the honeycombs to make the honey. This time all seems to be going fine, until a bee gets inside his mask. Frantically he trys to swat the bee, but topples over onto the hive, smashing it & crushing all the other bees!
To avoid the sack once more, he scoops up the crushed bees & throws them to the lion. Next day, there's a new arrival at the zoo ... a mate for the lion. "What's the food like here?" asks the new arrival. "Oh, you know" says the lion... "Just the usual Friday stuff... Finch & Chimps with Mushy Bees..."Gordon
2016 D4 Landmark, Yulong White, SDV6, Ex-JLR Fleet
2013 D4 HSE (Gone! Sold within the forum)
13th Apr 2018 7:41 pm
DSL Keeper of the wheelie bin
Member Since: 11 May 2006
Location: Off again! :-)
Posts: 72768
Though got a from SWMBO.
13th Apr 2018 7:45 pm
astonbuilder
Member Since: 29 Sep 2006
Location: MIDLANDS
Posts: 8051
Not heard that one KTM but could see where it was going
13th Apr 2018 8:32 pm
Narpy
Member Since: 18 Jul 2011
Location: Stockport
Posts: 7830
You've not heard it................it's older than the stuff you post. Mods:
Front Fogs + Halos
FBH Remote Control
The 1st Ever RRS Modded Grill
Garmin Nuvi + D4 Surround + Reversing Camera.
D4 Steering Wheel.
Rear Boot Spoiler.
Twin Brake Lights.
Wing Mirror Indicator Repeaters.
Long Roof Rails
Make your own Narpy grill thread
I'm not scared, I'm outta here.
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
up right now or you're going to get us both fired"
from SWMBO. 
