Member Since: 29 Sep 2006
Location: MIDLANDS
Posts: 8052
A Jockey is riding a horse for the first time.....
[Last one for this week I promise ]
........and the trainer meets him before the race to give him some advice and tips, etc. He says to the jockey; "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'AAALLLLEEE OOOP' really loudly in the horse's ear. As long as you do that, you'll be fine."
The jockey thinks the trainer is nuts but agrees to shout the command.
The race begins and they go down the straight and approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainers advice and the horse just crashes straight through the jump and clean out the other side, nearly dislodging the jockey.
They've fallen behind a bit but they carry on and the second hurdle is approaching. The jockey, feeling rather embarrassed, leans forward and whispers "aaaleeee ooop" in the horses ear. The same thing happens - the horse crashes straight through the jump and clean out the other side.
At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks to himself, 'I'm not having that happen again, I'm going to have to try the command' and yells, "AAALLLEEE OOOP" really, really, loudly.
Amazed, he feels the horse rear up and sure enough, the horse gets over the jump, not even brushing the top of it with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race; fence after fence cleared with ease, but due to the first two jumps causing them to slow down the horse only finishes fourth.
The trainer comes running over and is is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong, why didn't he use the command on the first two fences.
The jockey, somewhat sheepishly and trying to cover up his mistakes, replies, "Nothing is wrong with me - it's this bloody horse. What is he - deaf or something?"
The trainer, apoplectic with rage now, shouts, "DEAF? DEAF? He's not deaf, he's blind!"
Thank you and good night, you've been a great audience
13th Apr 2018 3:37 pm
Pelyma
Member Since: 06 Jan 2005
Location: Patching, Sussex
Posts: 15496
DS3 TDV6 HSE - Silver with Alpaca (old one) Gone
DS3 TDV6 HSE- Silver with Alpaca (new one) Gone
D4 HSE Lux - Montalcino Red Gone
Porsche Cayenne V8 Diesel S
13th Apr 2018 4:06 pm
Ceekay
Member Since: 17 May 2009
Location: Bury
Posts: 2057
D4 HSE Lux MY16 Club Waitomo
D3 HSE MY06 missing her still…
13th Apr 2018 5:25 pm
DSL Keeper of the wheelie bin
Member Since: 11 May 2006
Location: Off again! :-)
Posts: 72787
And that ends the weeks jokes on a high!!
Though it’s only Friday and may be a bit prem.
13th Apr 2018 5:28 pm
Fireburst
Member Since: 02 Nov 2017
Location: Hertfordshire
Posts: 187
Brilliant
13th Apr 2018 5:36 pm
Hairy Dan
Member Since: 19 Jan 2011
Location: Co. Durham
Posts: 12319
Cheers Ian
--------------------
Club N.E.R.D.S
Kielder 4x4 Safari
Discoless
13th Apr 2018 6:15 pm
Alan B
Member Since: 12 Feb 2013
Location: Fife
Posts: 6528
D3 57 xs Stornaway grey
D2 02 commercial silver gone but a great servant and won't be forgotten
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deaf, he's blind!"
