nealgs
Member Since: 13 Jan 2008
Location: Leeds
Posts: 327
  
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| Some jokes to while away the minutes... |
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The Gynecologist Who Wanted to be a Mechanic!
A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.
Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade."
The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. "You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."
After a pause, the instructor added,
"I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the exhaust pipe, which I've never seen done in my entire career.
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My wife was unhappy with my mood swings so she bought one of those "mood rings" to monitor my moods.
We discovered that when I was in a good mood it went green.
When I was in a bad mood we found it left a great ******* red mark in her forehead!
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A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.
His wife is lying in bed reading.
Man says "this is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache"
Wife replies "I think you'll find that is a sheep".
Man replies "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep".
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We call our grandad "Spiderman".
He hasn't got super powers - he just finds it difficult to get out of the bath!
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Gary Gone: Java Black TDV6, Auto, HSE - yum, yum 
(Gone: 96' V8 ES Charleston Green, 96 V8 ES Black)
Toy: Southern Roadcraft Cobra, 383ci Chevy V8
Club - HiVis
Club - Disco3.co.uk Round Stickers
Club - Disco3.co.uk External Badge
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 19th Mar 2009 6:45 pm |
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Reggieb
Member Since: 13 Sep 2007
Location: Watford, Herts.
Posts: 707
 
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Well I thought they were good & so did SWMBO... 
 TDV6 HSE - Light Guards - White Reflective Sticker
Club--Engel
Club--Satnav on the move (Thanks Pete)
Club--Kumho KL71 (265/70 17) they kick!
Club--Three Musketeers
Club--GNVP Sump Guard (The nuts)
Disco3Club
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Last edited by Reggieb on 20th Mar 2009 8:25 am. Edited 1 time in total
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| 19th Mar 2009 9:23 pm |
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GLYNNE
Member Since: 06 Oct 2006
Location: KENT
Posts: 4653
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| 19th Mar 2009 9:27 pm |
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Discoeast
Member Since: 19 Feb 2008
Location: Boksburg
Posts: 800
 
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D3 bullbar-spots-roof rack with spots-ladder-long range tank-swing out spare wheel carrier- upgraded tow bar-dash console-internal water tank-duel awnings-drawer system & T T.
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| 20th Mar 2009 7:27 am |
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