I wanted to send you a holiday greeting, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on his advice I wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.
Merry ChristmasAs you slide down the banister of life
may no splinters point your way
Disco XXV
RRS2 Autobiography Dynamic MY16
Discovery Sport HSE Lux MY17
Evoque HSE Dynamic MY16 (Gone)
RRS2 Autobiography Dynamic MY14 (Lovely car but preferred the Disco!)
Disco 3 Tdv6 HSE MY05 (owned for 11 years and now gone)
Range Rover Sport HSE MY11 (Gone)
Freelander2 SE (Gone but the most reliable car we've ever owned)
Disco 2 V8 (Gone)
Last edited by AVE on 20th Dec 2009 10:47 pm. Edited 1 time in total
20th Dec 2009 10:22 pm
DiscoShortie
Member Since: 02 Dec 2009
Location: Birmingham
Posts: 39
merry xmas
20th Dec 2009 10:24 pm
roamingman
Member Since: 25 Jun 2008
Location: aberdeenshire
Posts: 525
Also a Merry Xmas to all membersconvoy For Heroes record holder (348)
Live life 'til you die
Team Teddy Bears Picnic
20th Dec 2009 10:28 pm
DSL Keeper of the wheelie bin
Member Since: 11 May 2006
Location: Off again! :-)
Posts: 72787
Up here it's Happy Snow Fest!!!
20th Dec 2009 10:29 pm
kevi
Member Since: 18 Mar 2006
Location: in the rhondda valleys
Posts: 945
Summer solstice !
thanks anyway and the same to everyone else on here Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
2 Too many seats now
No trouble so far
tow pack, tasmods sills
IT goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows
Merry Chrimbo everyone!! As you slide down the banister of life
may no splinters point your way
Disco XXV
RRS2 Autobiography Dynamic MY16
Discovery Sport HSE Lux MY17
Evoque HSE Dynamic MY16 (Gone)
RRS2 Autobiography Dynamic MY14 (Lovely car but preferred the Disco!)
Disco 3 Tdv6 HSE MY05 (owned for 11 years and now gone)
Range Rover Sport HSE MY11 (Gone)
Freelander2 SE (Gone but the most reliable car we've ever owned)
Disco 2 V8 (Gone)
20th Dec 2009 10:48 pm
Russell
Member Since: 24 Aug 2007
Location: Kent
Posts: 10564
All have a good one MY17 D5 1st Edition Namib Orange
MY15 D4 HSE Kaikoura Stone
MY12 D4 HSE Nara Bronze Sold and gone
MY11 D4 HSE Stornaway Grey Sold and gone
D3 S spec Silver Sold and gone
Tow bar, full length roof bars, side steps, tow bar storage unit, surround camers.
D4 camera club
20th Dec 2009 10:54 pm
ronp
Member Since: 29 Nov 2006
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 15214
Happy Easter to you all!
I was a normal heterosexual chap, but in these new woke awakenings I now identify as a Wardrobe.
20th Dec 2009 11:01 pm
Popelka
Member Since: 31 May 2008
Location: Praha (Prague)
Posts: 2430
sod all that, just dont get tooo drunk Experience is a difficult teacher, because she gives the test first and then the lesson afterwards!!!!
21st Dec 2009 11:25 am
James W
Member Since: 27 Mar 2008
Location: Wirral, UK
Posts: 3067
Further to the OP, HSE and Equalities Commission have published regulation and guidance relating to Christmas songs.
The Rocking Song
Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir;
We will lend a coat of fur,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you:
Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to risk of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux fur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be considered a suitable alternative.
Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times and be prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking commences.
Jingle Bells
Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.
While Shepherds Watched
While shepherds watched
Their flocks by night
All seated on the ground
The angel of the Lord came down
And glory shone around
The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts.
Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her glory all around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.
Little Donkey
Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road
Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load
The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.
We Three Kings
We three kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star
Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold' etc., gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in the recipients name or perhaps give a gift voucher.
We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels hooves.
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.
You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place.
21st Dec 2009 11:52 am
FISHY
Member Since: 08 Oct 2009
Location: BRISTOL
Posts: 97
Merry Chrimbo to one and all
21st Dec 2009 1:05 pm
POINTYED
Member Since: 22 Mar 2008
Location: BURY,LANCS
Posts: 2758
Hi
merry Xmas and all the very best for the coming year to one and all.
Thanks all for being fantastic members of a fantastic site and for allowing me to be part of your community
special thanks and wishes to martin and all the mods for starting and keeping the site going
I have met quite a few other members over the past year and find them all friendly,welcoming folk always willing to chat especially about landrovers.
Once again thank you to you all and have a good one
dunc life is tooooo short.enjoy the moment.dont worry be happy
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