Member Since: 06 May 2005
Location: Y...... because I can
Posts: 10438
The news bulletins are awash with the news......
To anybody in Scotland that is suffering with fever, fatigue, muscle aches, dry mouth, breathing problems, cold sweats, shivers, shakes and hallucinations. Don’t panic, you do not have swine Flu.
You need to call your drug dealer. That smack you bought earlier is wearing off.
Following on from fears over the swine flu virus it has been revealed that England will not be affected!!
Apparently the Government will not be letting it in in case it will offend Muslims!
Apparently the symptoms of swine flu are; sweating, excessive body odour and laziness.
No wonder it went unnoticed for so long in Mexico.In the Beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
29th Apr 2009 10:32 pm
AndrewS Tarquin of the Desert
Member Since: 06 May 2005
Location: Y...... because I can
Posts: 10438
Swine Flu:
a contagious pandemic, or an elaborate hoax to make Susan Boyle wear a face mask?In the Beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
29th Apr 2009 10:35 pm
lafona00
Member Since: 30 Nov 2007
Location: Dubai
Posts: 808
If someone wants to meet up!!!
I have arrived in Panama on Sunday night and I am leaving tonight to come home!!!
I am really considering the quarantine for 7 days just to avoid contamination to my kids and wife...
What do you think?Arno
No more LR... but a Toyo
Disco 3 XS Auto - MY2008 - Leather, heated seats.
Def 90 - 1993
29th Apr 2009 10:38 pm
SJR
Member Since: 09 Aug 2006
Location: East Manchester
Posts: 4030
You would have to think that sooner or later this is going to sweep through westminster, thee are so many noses in troughs there it is almost inevitable.
And they are feckless Swines the lot of them I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
Buzz Aldrin (1930 -
29th Apr 2009 10:40 pm
AndrewS Tarquin of the Desert
Member Since: 06 May 2005
Location: Y...... because I can
Posts: 10438
Swine flu is getting serious, It has been reported to be a hamdemic, which may lead to an aporkolypse...
SorryIn the Beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
29th Apr 2009 10:41 pm
Shrinky
Member Since: 05 Jul 2007
Location: Cotswolds
Posts: 2515
I think I will stock up on some Red wine and Marlboro lights. Got to be a good way to kill the germs Global Warming.... I'm luvvin it
29th Apr 2009 10:44 pm
SJR
Member Since: 09 Aug 2006
Location: East Manchester
Posts: 4030
Quote:
Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immune system. Walk for at least hour a day, go for a swim, take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc.
Wash your hands often. If you can’t wash them, keep a bottle of antibacterial
stuff around. Wear a mask when out in public places and avoid going out in public as much as possible while the swine flu is spreading. Get lots of fresh air. Open windows whenever possible. Get plenty of rest. Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.
OR …. You can take the doctor’s office approach. Think about it, when you go
for a shot, what do they do first? Clean your arm with alcohol.. Why? Because
alcohol kills germs. So…… I put on my mask, walk to the liquor store (exercise), I put lime in my Corona (fruit), celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies), drink on the bar patio (fresh air), get drunk, tell jokes, and laugh (eliminate stress) and then pass out (rest). The way I see it, if you keep your alcohol levels up flu germs can’t get you!!!!
I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
Buzz Aldrin (1930 -
You lot are not taking it seriously are you. Personally I have two life support machines in the boot of my car "To finish first, one first has to finish ...."
29th Apr 2009 10:51 pm
lafona00
Member Since: 30 Nov 2007
Location: Dubai
Posts: 808
Arno
No more LR... but a Toyo
Disco 3 XS Auto - MY2008 - Leather, heated seats.
Def 90 - 1993
29th Apr 2009 10:51 pm
SJR
Member Since: 09 Aug 2006
Location: East Manchester
Posts: 4030
Apparently all filming on the muppets has been postponed as Kermit fears catching swine fever from Miss Piggy I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
Buzz Aldrin (1930 -
29th Apr 2009 10:51 pm
lafona00
Member Since: 30 Nov 2007
Location: Dubai
Posts: 808
Off to the airport to take my plane back to UK!Arno
No more LR... but a Toyo
Disco 3 XS Auto - MY2008 - Leather, heated seats.
Def 90 - 1993
Member Since: 06 May 2005
Location: Y...... because I can
Posts: 10438
90BHP wrote:
You lot are not taking it seriously are you. Personally I have two life support machines in the boot of my car
OK if you pick up a couple of dwarfs then Not much room for 2 LSM and 2 adults though.In the Beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
29th Apr 2009 11:33 pm
AndrewW
Member Since: 06 Aug 2007
Location: Saddleworth
Posts: 2302
Quote:
The way I see it, if you keep your alcohol levels up flu germs can’t get you!!!!
Met an Aussie ex-special-forces once who told the tale that he was left behind in Yugoslavia during WWII because he came down with severe malaria and was holding up the operation. Local resistance types left him 2 litres of 140° proof Slivovic. He drank the lot and woke up several days later - cured.
I am currently amending the best before date on my Ardbeg supply - justification for a) consuming more rapidly b) buying more. I'd trust Islay malt rather than a drug that sounds like a large-breasted Country singer - and that's my (retired) medical opinion 2006 D3 finally swapped for a 2016 D4 Graphite in Graphite grey. No mods
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Disco 3 XS Auto - MY2008 - Leather, heated seats.
Def 90 - 1993 
