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NoDo$h
Member Since: 02 May 2006
Location: Finding new and exciting ways to milk badgers.
Posts: 19689
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| TAX ACCOUNTANTS ORDER NEW BENTLEYS |
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www.thedailymash.co.uk wrote:BRITAIN'S tax accountants were last night gleefully flicking through brochures for the Bentley Continental GT after chancellor Alistair Darling unveiled radical plans to take more money from rich people.
As Mr Darling outlined his strategy to present the incoming Conservative government with an Olympic-sized swimming pool filled with turds, tax accountants were locked in an intense debate over whether or not to go for the soft-top version.
Tom Booker, an accountant from London, said: "It's got a 'bluetooth' and something called 'multi-zone climate control'. Amazing. And look at all that leather. There must be at least nine cows in there."
He added: "Anyway, I must get on. Busy, busy, busy."
Following the chancellor's announcement the government of the Cayman Islands unveiled its plan to reclaim more than 20 square miles of the Caribbean Sea to construct the dozens of new buildings that will contain the tiny offices of thousands of shell companies set up by British tax accountants.
Meanwhile economists and art historians last night congratulated Mr Darling for presenting Britain's first ever surrealist budget.
Bill McKay, deputy director of the Tate Modern, said: "None of it makes sense. Not a single word. It was a very brave thing to do."
He added: "The growth forecast for 2011 is an avant-garde masterpiece. It's as if the budget has been written by Salvador Dali during a particularly hallucinogenic bout of tropical fever."
Julian Cook, chief economist at Madeley Finnegan, said: "I especially like the bit about wiping out the £1.4 trillion deficit by increasing tax for all domestic cats who earn more than £10,000 a year.
"We're really just talking about those cats that appear in television adverts and there can't be more than four of them."
I know it's not considered "kind" to say no these days, but no. Just no, ok? And if it's not ok, still no.
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 23rd Apr 2009 9:17 am |
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Popelka
Member Since: 31 May 2008
Location: Praha (Prague)
Posts: 2430
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| Re: TAX ACCOUNTANTS ORDER NEW BENTLEYS |
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NoDo$h wrote:www.thedailymash.co.uk wrote: increasing tax for all domestic cats who earn more than £10,000 a year.
"We're really just talking about those cats that appear in television adverts and there can't be more than four of them."
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| 23rd Apr 2009 6:49 pm |
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countrywide
Member Since: 16 Sep 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 6019
  
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This Goverment is useless, we are stuffed now for the next 20 years. However I will say that it was on the cards a long time ago, way before just this goverment. It was 20 years plus ago when the focus was on moving away from manufacturing to entirely service based industry.
That is why we are in this position because when it hit, we were in the worst position to deal with it as we have little else.
I have no strong political views really, but the one thing the tories can't be smug about at the moment is that Maggie started the process of destroying manufacturing in this country and thereby also destroying doversity which is a saviour in times of recession. The current lot did nothing to change it and jumped on what appeared to be the gravy train.
Still musn't grumble
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| 23rd Apr 2009 7:04 pm |
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SJR
Member Since: 09 Aug 2006
Location: East Manchester
Posts: 4030
  
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I don't have any real political allegiances either, i don't trust any of them if i am being honest
However, i think the problem goes back before even Maggie, the unions did a really good of stopping manufacturing by going on strike constantly. Think British Leyland, railways, and pretty much everyone else TBH whose industries were controlled by union leaders with a more 'socialist' / left agenda!
The bigwigs of many of these companies either decided to move the manufacturing overseas and take advantage of cheaper and more reliable labour, albeit labour that was not so highly skilled. the companies who were left, either survived by working with the unions, or went under long ago.
Most of this was taking place in the seventies! - Maggie didn't come to power until 1979, and she didn't screw manufacturing, she screwed the unions, who in trying to defy her, ignored the fact that there industries were going under (think Miners)! I am no fan of her, i think she did some incredibly harmful things to this country, but she did stand up to the group who thought they ran the country.
I fully understand it ain't anything like as cut and dried as this (before the flaming starts  ), but neither is it as cut and dried as previous posters have suggested.
Now I've opened that can of worms up  - Discuss  I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
Buzz Aldrin (1930 -
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| 23rd Apr 2009 7:17 pm |
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countrywide
Member Since: 16 Sep 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 6019
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Your right the unions cocked it up under Labour, so the goverment had to be stop them and so they did. But then it went too far with all the focus on ignoring industry and not trying to bring it back in a more sutainable way and that is where it started to really go wrong. Then we get labour who don't do anything about it either and continue to move towards service industry.
They are all as bad as each other, the only reason I hold Maggie accountable is that she didn't take a balanced view (she just wanted to win the fight) and once the unions were stopped continued to destroy manufacturing instead of rebuilding on a more level field.
The UK is fantastic at designing product, but a great deal of the financial returns on design are from manufacturing and this we loose oversea's.
The current lot seemed to just carry on, almost thinking they would be out anyway before the bubble burst. Which in some ways is even worse and making no decisions is worse than making the wrong one to me.
For the first time, I am really thinking about going oversea's. According to the figures released today it will take more than the rest of my working life (25 years) to bring the countries finances back into line.
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| 23rd Apr 2009 7:41 pm |
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