My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year........
I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.
Also, I now have to scrub the top of every tin can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the £15, 000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program....
Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split $7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy diesel without taking a friend along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with an aftershave sample and rob me.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan
Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum.
And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the £50.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's, second husband's cousin's beautician's relative, once removed.
By the way....a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ who have infrequent sexual activity always read forum topics with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late! The older I get, the more I realise that people confuse wrinkles for wisdom
Founder member of Club FFRRV
Club Orange, Mint or Fruit
Club Walnut Sniffers
11th Dec 2009 11:40 am
tanters
Member Since: 24 Oct 2007
Location: Oireland
Posts: 4284
A happy childhood ... is the worst possible preparation for life.
For a moment there, after looking at the thread title, I thought it was JMC's turn to offer thanks and then say "that's it...I'm off..."The next American ex-pat that calls it a "truck" is going to find out what 2.7 tons feels like on their foot...
Club "yes, I too have had the EGR's replaced..."
Club "yes, I too have had the compressor replaced..."
Club "yes, I too once had the car at the dealer for a couple of weeksnearly 4 weeksover 4 weeks...5 weeks"
Club "yes, I too have had EPB failure..."
Club "yes, I too get mysterious bings and bongs..."
I thought it was JMC's turn to offer thanks and then say "that's it...I'm off..."
It was my turn to say that almost a year ago when I bought the FFRR. However, this site's a lot more fun than the 'other' one, so now I just lurk here like some posh pervert in a dark corner of a well-lit car park full of D3's.........
I don't miss the D3 that much (who would with an FFRR in its place?), but I'd miss you guys...........
Awwwwe Shhuuukkks The older I get, the more I realise that people confuse wrinkles for wisdom
Founder member of Club FFRRV
Club Orange, Mint or Fruit
Club Walnut Sniffers
11th Dec 2009 12:54 pm
DSL Keeper of the wheelie bin
Member Since: 11 May 2006
Location: Off again! :-)
Posts: 72787
Swap bluie back for your FFR(v) if you want to feel more at home!!! How's the weather at Chez JMC??? You'd love it out here, bootiful weather, lots of elderly (crumbly on the scale) ex colonials to grumble at, nice beaches (full of aforementioned folks ), nice boats to watch in the marina while drinking mega creme brûlée frappachino!! What a life.
PS wrote my 1st line before reading your second last line!!!
100% Blue sky, wall to wall sunshine...........and 2 degees!!!
DSL wrote:
You'd love it out here
No I wouldn't! South of France has better weather, better scenery, better babes, better food, better wine, better boats and a better lifestyle.
DSL wrote:
wrote my 1st line before reading your second last line
The older I get, the more I realise that people confuse wrinkles for wisdom
Founder member of Club FFRRV
Club Orange, Mint or Fruit
Club Walnut Sniffers
11th Dec 2009 1:56 pm
DSL Keeper of the wheelie bin
Member Since: 11 May 2006
Location: Off again! :-)
Posts: 72787
Re better babes, off to Coaco Breach so that should improve!! I hope!
I'm not the one trying to get a share of Abi's 'crack'...........
The older I get, the more I realise that people confuse wrinkles for wisdom
Founder member of Club FFRRV
Club Orange, Mint or Fruit
Club Walnut Sniffers
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
), nice boats to watch in the marina while drinking mega creme brûlée frappachino!! What a life. 
South of France has better weather, better scenery, better babes, better food, better wine, better boats and a better lifestyle. 
