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A young couple were driving through the countryside........
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sailormike
 


Member Since: 04 Apr 2007
Location: Norfolk
Posts: 31

United Kingdom 2016 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 HSE Lux Auto Waitomo GreyDiscovery 4

An Marine Engineer dies and goes to hell. He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly.

The moving walkway motor jammed, so he unjams it. People can get from place to place more easily.

The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the Satellite dish and now they get hundreds of high def channels.

One day, God decides to look down on Hell to see how his grand design is working out and notices that everyone is happy and enjoying umbrella drinks. He asks the Devil what's going on?

The Devil replies, "Things are great down here since you sent us that marine engineer."

"What?? An marine engineer? I didn't send you one of those, that must have been a mistake. Send him back up right this minute."

The Devil responds, "No way! We are going to keep our engineer. We like this guy."

God demands, "If you don't send him to me immediately, I'll sue!"

The Devil laughs. "Where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
 Disco 4
Vw California
Disco sport gone
Disco 3 gone 
 
Post #195486118th Jun 2018 6:08 am
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kajtzu
 


Member Since: 11 Aug 2017
Location: Helsinki
Posts: 2096

Finland 2005 Discovery 3 4.4 V8 HSE Auto Cairns BlueDiscovery 3

Rolling with laughter Thumbs Up
  
Post #195486218th Jun 2018 6:44 am
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ianm27
 


Member Since: 02 Jun 2016
Location: Hertfordshire
Posts: 419

England 2012 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 GS Auto Orkney GreyDiscovery 4

Rolling with laughter
 Uncle Ray's spare wheel protector
Limo Tint
Blackvue front & rear dashcam
Cruise control switch pack
Bodsy's remote for FBH 
 
Post #195505818th Jun 2018 5:59 pm
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DSL
Keeper of the wheelie bin 


Member Since: 11 May 2006
Location: Somewhere.
Posts: 61144

United Kingdom 2011 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 HSE Auto Zermatt SilverDiscovery 4

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter
 

11 D4 HSE - just Dee, no more Double Disco. Sad

Old Dee 🇬🇧🇫🇷🇹🇳🇪🇸🇦🇩🇧🇪🇳🇱🇱🇺🇩🇪🇮🇹🇩🇰🇸🇪🇳🇴🇫🇮🇵🇱🇸🇰🇨🇿🇱🇹🇱🇻🇧🇼
New Dee 🇬🇧🇫🇷🇧🇪🇳🇱🇩🇪🇩🇰🇸🇪🇮🇸🇫🇮 
 
Post #195506318th Jun 2018 6:03 pm
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Alan B
 


Member Since: 12 Feb 2013
Location: Fife
Posts: 6471

Scotland 2007 Discovery 3 TDV6 XS Manual Stornoway GreyDiscovery 3

Rolling with laughter
 D3 57 xs Stornaway grey
D2 02 commercial silver gone but a great servant and won't be forgotten

Iid Bluetooth 
 
Post #195532119th Jun 2018 1:57 pm
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professorpool
 


Member Since: 19 Mar 2012
Location: Woking
Posts: 3033

Wales 2007 Discovery 3 TDV6 SE Auto Java BlackDiscovery 3

Tommy comes home one night, completely worse for wear. Drunk out of his mind. It's all he can do to crawl into bed. A little while later Tommy wakes up and finds himself at the Pearly Gates and in front of St Peter

"But sir, it's too early and I'm too young! I have a young family and they need me!"

He remonstrates with St Peter.

"Once you are here you are here. I can't send you back. The best I can do is send you back as a chicken"

"Well if that's all that's available, that will have to do I suppose but can you send me to a farm near my house so I can keep an eye on..."

And puff! The next thing he knows he's in a farm yard and pecking about at the floor. A cockerel comes up to him and says

"Hello there! You must be the new chicken! Pleased to meet you!"

"Hello to you to, but I'm feeling a bit funny, like I need to push"

"Aha!" says the cockerel "you're ovulating. It means you're going to lay an egg. All you need to do is push"

So he pushes and the next think you know there's an egg on the ground..

"Oh that feels wonderful. I've never given birth! What a wonderful feeling!"

So he settles himself down and starts to push again when...

WACK!

"FFS TOMMY WAKE UP! YOU'VE SHAT THE BED!"
 D3 07 SE - still going strong
D3 07 HSE - gone to car heaven
FL1 - gone to Romania
D3 05 HSE - gone to a divorce diet
D1 V8 manual - gone but not forgotten
RR Classic - gone to car heaven

Jeeps, Lexus, X-trails... Too many to name.. 
 
Post #195533519th Jun 2018 2:57 pm
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